I'll kill you. You'll be dead, and I'll be happy.

I drove up to Logan this weekend for my little sister's wedding. Just before the reception began, I noticed a voice message on my answering machine.

Hi Mike, this is Roommate2. I borrowed your bike this morning pause
My stomach dropped into my feet and my heartrate doubled.
WHAT!!?
My tires were flat, and I couldn't find your pump. So in a panic I took your bike instead. longer pause
Oh hell, you wrecked it didn't you? You took my $2700 all-carbon road bike because you couldn't pump up your own tires?...I'm gonna kill him.
I couldn't get your tires topped off up at the gas station. I don't know why. It was 6:00am, so I didn't want to call you. yet another long pause
So you figured it was better to just take my bike and hope for the best!!? I'm gonna kill him...gonna kill him...got no choice but to kill him. Where are my keys? My sister will understand...
The road was smooth...
WHAT THE HELL!??? JUST SAY IT BEFORE MY HEAD A-SPLODE!!!!
So no problems; your bike is fine.
Oh man. I can't do this anymore.
So I just wanted to let you know. Sorry about all this. I hope everything is going well, and I'll catch you later.

Needless to say, that message was perhaps the longest, most painful voice mail I have ever endured. I was freaking out because a few weeks before, my chain had broken, and I'd had to fix it with my Leatherman. The repair seemed to be holding, but I hadn't been able to thoroughly test it. My front dérailleur also needed adjusting as the chain often derailed upon shifting to the inner chain ring. Roommate2 knew nothing of these issues. In a bike race, people hit speeds in excess of 35mph, and all one has to do is screw up once before is bike is reduced to a pile of worthless metal and rubber.

Financial difficulties notwithstanding, I do trust Roommate2. He has good reflexes and is an experienced racer. But as everyone can see, I'm still attached to my material possessions, and losing control of them gets to me rather quickly. Sadly, I have not improved since the puke-in-the-truck incident. Saturday could have just as easily turned out much worse for many many people; I suppose it was a lucky weekend for all of us.
Maverick - Maverick