mmmmmm, sweet delicious incompetence
The failure of my phD proposal was not the crowning event for the week I had hoped for. Criticism is always difficult, and criticism that results in negative, tangible consequences is even worse.
Luckily for me, failure is old news. I've been down that road enough times not to be too broken up about it. I know it will shock everyone to know that "I Will Survive" will not be playing anytime soon on my ipod.
Truth be told, I prefer criticism over acceptance, especially in regards to my capacity as a scientist. I'm sincerely grateful for a committee that will not accept a sloppy research plan. A statement like, "what you've done is not acceptable, and you need to do X,Y, and Z if you hope to graduate," is infinitely more useful to me than complacent silence. I would rather fail and later turn something mediocre into something great than pass and leave things in their mediocre state indefinitely. Sure, I could pass and and make those same improvements unbeknownst to everyone else, but that costs me credibility with the people that will write my recommendations someday. A present day success will always erase a failure of the past.
For those of you that are concerned about me, I am not getting kicked out of school. I simply need to better organize my ideas and re-present a concrete, achievable plan in June.
I know know, this week has been a shitty one. Just be happy it was mine and not yours.
Luckily for me, failure is old news. I've been down that road enough times not to be too broken up about it. I know it will shock everyone to know that "I Will Survive" will not be playing anytime soon on my ipod.
Truth be told, I prefer criticism over acceptance, especially in regards to my capacity as a scientist. I'm sincerely grateful for a committee that will not accept a sloppy research plan. A statement like, "what you've done is not acceptable, and you need to do X,Y, and Z if you hope to graduate," is infinitely more useful to me than complacent silence. I would rather fail and later turn something mediocre into something great than pass and leave things in their mediocre state indefinitely. Sure, I could pass and and make those same improvements unbeknownst to everyone else, but that costs me credibility with the people that will write my recommendations someday. A present day success will always erase a failure of the past.
For those of you that are concerned about me, I am not getting kicked out of school. I simply need to better organize my ideas and re-present a concrete, achievable plan in June.
I know know, this week has been a shitty one. Just be happy it was mine and not yours.
posted by Saule Cogneur at 9:26 AM
4 Comments:
Noble attitude.
You'll come out of this with more satisfaction and confidence as you know.
They still paying you to go to school? That concept still blows my mind.
:) I like reading your writing.
I hope things go better for you in June . . . Sometimes it's good to be extremely busy, and I know there's a part of you that wants to show your committee how incredible your next proposal is -- and stick it to them! You can do it!
Those kind of comments can be tough, but they do help focus your thoughts sometimes. I am sure you will pull it together.
And if it is any consolation, when I had my second year review, one of my committee members told me that my "thinking about science was fundamentally flawed". But it all turned out fine in the end.
:hugs:
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