I simply cannot tolerate partial functionality

EDIT: The mechanic I had look at my car completely misdiagnosed it and then had the audacity to ask me for $400. I cannot emphasize enough that confidence and condescension are a reflection of personality alone and have nothing to do with knowledge, wisdom, or pretty much anything that is useful to me.




S is for Saturday, never ever drab
C is for 20 Calls to the parts store, to the clerk my voice well known
R is for Rebuilding Needed, three gaskets blown
E is for Exhaust Fumes, bad news in the cab
W is for What the Hell!?, my expletive of choice










Y is for Yttrium, in my truck there is likely none
O is for Ordinary Problems, in such there is little fun
U is for Unexplained Undulations, take it apart again, I've no choice








M is for Mike, labor fees he will not accept
E is for Ecumenical, the beauty of good tools
C is for Carnage, the bloodied knuckles of fools
H is for Hydraulic Jack, more useful than mules
A is for Assistance, oddly, without it I am most adept
N is for No Leaks, progress me thought I saw
I is for Inanimate Objects, all behind the grill
C is for Catalysis Research, useless today, but it pays the bill
S is for Suck It Repairmen, boo yah boo yah boo yah