Cadavers, Blogs, and Bad Luck: A study on love and lack thereof
Part 5.
What some people don't know is that gmail is my social life line. More accurately, Google Talk (which operates through gmail) is they way I keep up with my friends when their friendship is no longer convenient. IM has been around for a long time, but for some reason that I don't understand, the Google version is king.
April 2008
I added EG (who had then become Korea Girl) to my friend list and struck up a conversation. She'd been in Korea for over a month. As expected, Costco proved to be the most natural topic of our first IM conversation ever. Soon we transitioned to marathons,
Do you have a theme song yet?
Ohmigosh. No. Any suggestions?
No theme song? Gasp! It's all about the $200 shoes and matching attire and a theme song to listen to 24/7.
What some people don't know is that gmail is my social life line. More accurately, Google Talk (which operates through gmail) is they way I keep up with my friends when their friendship is no longer convenient. IM has been around for a long time, but for some reason that I don't understand, the Google version is king.
April 2008
I added EG (who had then become Korea Girl) to my friend list and struck up a conversation. She'd been in Korea for over a month. As expected, Costco proved to be the most natural topic of our first IM conversation ever. Soon we transitioned to marathons,
Do you have a theme song yet?
Ohmigosh. No. Any suggestions?
No theme song? Gasp! It's all about the $200 shoes and matching attire and a theme song to listen to 24/7.
actual training....meh
I'll have to think on a song for you.
How about 'Bootylicious?'
Excellent place to begin, but your theme song(s) must reflect an evolution of sorts. I don't know if Bootylicious is quite progressive enough.
Ah, good point. good point. maybe something more along the lines of 'my humps'? fergie is the poster child for progressive...starting out as a kids incorporated performer only to find herself at the epicenter of trashy pop songs. go fergie!
Yep, it was just another day in the life of a Mike/KG dialogue.
We chatted only once in the two and a half months that followed. Heroine addictions, ninja weaponry, bus fare, plastic surgery, and the need for a woman to have a beard to be taken seriously were all thoroughly covered.
July 2008
We also talked about broken hearts. I'd left a comment on her blog about coping.
I think in my own life, especially in matters of love, I feel I'm always only beginning to show someone what I'm really about. In my case, I don't think it's a defense mechanism however. I think it's more a neurosis that, "no one could possibly be really interested in what I have to say." It's sad that we booby trap our futures in this manner. On the bright side, traps are easily bypassed when we are ready and willing to look past them.
It wasn't terribly insightful, but I had enough impact on KG that she initiated an IM conversation to thank me. That's right, for the first time in our 4 year history SHE initiated.
I'm mourning, but I'm feeling that underlying peace that assures me this was the healthy decision for my life. When was the last time you had a broken heart? Do you remember what it felt like? I had forgotten. Damn, it hurts.
From that point on, we talked pretty regularly. Mike: Graduate Student by Day, Internet Stalker by Later Day turned back into Platonic Mike. Finally, KG and I became actual friends. We talked multiple times every week, and it was wonderful.
October 2008
Conversations dried up. Life had become more complicated and stressful for both of us. Three weeks passed with only a few short exchanges. Fearing things were going to die off completely, I did what any tenacious man-type would do to get a woman to talk to him. I struck up a conversation about Matthew Fox and all the characters from Lost that annoyed me.
It worked perfectly.
We talked for most of my night, took a two hour break, and started up again the next morning.
We talked a little about how we saw one another and how Platonic Mike maybe wasn't so platonic after all. Nearing the end of the longest IM session ever I broke my previous oath,
While we're on this subject, I would like to come visit you someday. Again, without any expectations but still open to possibilities.
Deal. There's just as likely a chance that I would come see you. One of my best friends and her husband live near Atlanta.
November 2008
Meeting up in the near future was impossible. I had my phd qualifier to take on January 3, and as it would be the most important exam of my life, my Christmas break was already going to be cut short. KG only had a week vacation to come to Portland.
My favorite thing about the impossible problems is that many are in fact cowards. Show them a small amount of determination and ingenuity and like an elephant to mice, they relinquish all. As I thought about the holidays, I realized I could in fact spare a couple days right before New Year's. It would cost me valuable time with my family and my brand new nephew, but the reality was that I hadn't seen KG in over three years and that this opportunity was much less pressured and less expensive than a trip to East Asia.
December 2008
We met at the airport. We watched The Office together. We went to a bookstore together. We went for walks together. Her Mom made me breakfast. KG went back to Korea feeling that she might have more than a silly crush on me.
May 2009
I flew to Korea to spend ten days with KG. I held her hand on the shuttle to her place in Bundang. For a short time, I was Real Boyfriend for Pretend Mike.
It was the best vacation ever.
I'll have to think on a song for you.
How about 'Bootylicious?'
Excellent place to begin, but your theme song(s) must reflect an evolution of sorts. I don't know if Bootylicious is quite progressive enough.
Ah, good point. good point. maybe something more along the lines of 'my humps'? fergie is the poster child for progressive...starting out as a kids incorporated performer only to find herself at the epicenter of trashy pop songs. go fergie!
Yep, it was just another day in the life of a Mike/KG dialogue.
We chatted only once in the two and a half months that followed. Heroine addictions, ninja weaponry, bus fare, plastic surgery, and the need for a woman to have a beard to be taken seriously were all thoroughly covered.
July 2008
We also talked about broken hearts. I'd left a comment on her blog about coping.
I think in my own life, especially in matters of love, I feel I'm always only beginning to show someone what I'm really about. In my case, I don't think it's a defense mechanism however. I think it's more a neurosis that, "no one could possibly be really interested in what I have to say." It's sad that we booby trap our futures in this manner. On the bright side, traps are easily bypassed when we are ready and willing to look past them.
It wasn't terribly insightful, but I had enough impact on KG that she initiated an IM conversation to thank me. That's right, for the first time in our 4 year history SHE initiated.
I'm mourning, but I'm feeling that underlying peace that assures me this was the healthy decision for my life. When was the last time you had a broken heart? Do you remember what it felt like? I had forgotten. Damn, it hurts.
From that point on, we talked pretty regularly. Mike: Graduate Student by Day, Internet Stalker by Later Day turned back into Platonic Mike. Finally, KG and I became actual friends. We talked multiple times every week, and it was wonderful.
October 2008
Conversations dried up. Life had become more complicated and stressful for both of us. Three weeks passed with only a few short exchanges. Fearing things were going to die off completely, I did what any tenacious man-type would do to get a woman to talk to him. I struck up a conversation about Matthew Fox and all the characters from Lost that annoyed me.
It worked perfectly.
We talked for most of my night, took a two hour break, and started up again the next morning.
We talked a little about how we saw one another and how Platonic Mike maybe wasn't so platonic after all. Nearing the end of the longest IM session ever I broke my previous oath,
While we're on this subject, I would like to come visit you someday. Again, without any expectations but still open to possibilities.
Deal. There's just as likely a chance that I would come see you. One of my best friends and her husband live near Atlanta.
November 2008
Meeting up in the near future was impossible. I had my phd qualifier to take on January 3, and as it would be the most important exam of my life, my Christmas break was already going to be cut short. KG only had a week vacation to come to Portland.
My favorite thing about the impossible problems is that many are in fact cowards. Show them a small amount of determination and ingenuity and like an elephant to mice, they relinquish all. As I thought about the holidays, I realized I could in fact spare a couple days right before New Year's. It would cost me valuable time with my family and my brand new nephew, but the reality was that I hadn't seen KG in over three years and that this opportunity was much less pressured and less expensive than a trip to East Asia.
December 2008
We met at the airport. We watched The Office together. We went to a bookstore together. We went for walks together. Her Mom made me breakfast. KG went back to Korea feeling that she might have more than a silly crush on me.
May 2009
I flew to Korea to spend ten days with KG. I held her hand on the shuttle to her place in Bundang. For a short time, I was Real Boyfriend for Pretend Mike.
It was the best vacation ever.
fin?
posted by Saule Cogneur at 2:23 PM
3 Comments:
Three things:
1. I love going to bookstores together. That is quite possibly my favorite date idea.
2. There are so many gaps in time here, but I don't mind very much. It makes your story better somehow.
3. Sometimes I forget that boys like holding hands as much as girls do.
sara, the bookstore date is MY favorite date too! that, and wandering around cute neighborhoods.
mike... i think KG needs another name upgrade. i have a few ideas.
i just recently caught up on my google reader posts and now i'm dying to hear how this ends!
p.s. i would try to find you a new pen pal in the singles ward we're serving in, but they're all younger than me, so i already know it's a no go :).
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