And if I can't find my way back to me, let the sun fall down over me.

A while back, LauLau commented that the first thing she noticed about me was, “pale, pale legs.” I wasn’t insulted, except for maybe the fact that she hadn’t seen my legs until our third or forth encounter. It’s always good to know I leave such a strong impression on people.

Whatever the case, I’m faced with the typical summer dilemma – how do I deal with the strong possibility that I might go outdoors and take my shirt off at least once between now and September. Farmer tan excepting, I’m afraid the rest of me is as white my poor, sheltered legs.In summers past, I’ve attempted quick resolution of this issue by simply going shirtless for half a day. The results are never anything short of a bright red shade of disaster. In ‘05, all I had to show for my efforts was a cranberry-colored, moon-shaped burn offset by a white hand print on my lower back where I’d wiped sunscreen off my hand after applying it to only my shoulders. Sadly, the picture didn’t survive, but here's a different one:

This year, I’ve vowed I won't repeat the mistakes of the past 23 summers. My old weightlifting buddy suggests tanning beds. Though I’m fairly secure in my sexual identity, I’m afraid that spending money to go tanning is still past my limits. Luckily, I have another card to play – as a scientist, I have a lot of reading to do, and as a free-range grad-student, I can read wherever I like.

Naturally, I’ve decided to spend my mornings outside with the sun. Honestly, I don’t expect my plan to work as I often have poor follow-through. Consequently, my pasty, white torso has never had more than a crimson hue of pain. Still, I need to be optimistic. I just don’t know how the neighbors will feel about having an albino sunning himself in the adjacent back yard.
Fuel - Sunburn